Awake

-Are you a God?
- they asked the Buddha.
- No.
- Are you an angel, then?
- No.
- A saint?
- No.
- Then what are you?
-
I am AWAKE.



Einstein

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure of
the universe"-Albert Einstein-


Om Mani Padme Hum

Matthew 25:40

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Matthew 7 1-6


1. Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4. Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5. Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
6. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Mini-stroke??? Inner ear infection???

In an effort to bring the blog back to Earth, more real, a friend mentioned I was getting too esoteric, I posted about how hard it is to sell Jags, in upstate NY.
Now I'll tell you about the first serious blip in my health, other than broken ankles, since I was a kid. It happened on the afternoon of December 11, 2009, and I don't mind saying...it scared me. It's easy to talk if you've never been ill, and even now I'm not 100% sure, but it was enough to scare me.
I was feeling fine, and was cooking some bacon to make a bacon sandwich. Always been one of my favorites, a pound of bacon, two slices of bread and Frenches Mustard. Anyway, the light was out in the hood over the stove. So while the bacon was cooking, I bent over and looked up under the hood, taking the screws out so I could get to the light bulb. Suddenly I felt dizzy, so I straightened up. The dizziness went away. I got a new bulb, and again bent over and looked up, changing the bulb and replacing the cover and screws. Suddenly I was dizzy again. This time so bad I almost fell, I sat down and it went away after a few minutes, when I stood it came back, so bad if I didn't hang on to something I'd have been on the floor.  I finished cooking the bacon, put it on a plate, cleaned the frying pan, then took the bacon and went in my room and laid down,  taking a nap. When I woke it had subsided. But now when I stood and walked I veared to the right, and if I turned my head too fast the dizziness returned. I worked the following day, driving was no problem, it only bothered me when I got out of the van and walked or stood.  A  couple days later I was going to work again, so in a bout of self medication, I took 10 Tylinol, 8 Centrum Vitamin tablets, a couple of allergy pills, and 4 or 5 Echinacea pills. Which I WON'T DO AGAIN.  The next day I noticed that the right side of my head, starting at the nape of my neck, passing over down my face through my nose, and stopping at my chin was numb. The right side of my mouth felt like I'd had a Novocain shot. Also I could only swallow food with difficulty, if I took too big a bite, it would block my throat, choking me. Fortunately I was able to cough up the food each time. Over the last couple of weeks this has not gone away, but has susided to a mild numbness, the skin only is numb. I've learned to take small bites and chew. Everything works, there's no droopyness in the eye or mouth just numb skin. I have wondered if this was something else, perhaps a pinched nerve, from sleeping on my side, head, not neck supported. As it stands at this point, I'm fine except for balance issues if I move suddenly, numb facial skin, and overall weakness/lack of stamina.  I was convinced I had an inner ear infection (although it showed up suddenly), others have me two thirds convinced it was a tsa or mini-stroke. Also for some time I've had poor circulation in both lower legs, and laying on my back under a car working on it would make me dizzy and nautious, but it went away as soon as I sat up.  Everybody thinks I'm an idiot for not going to the hospital, or a Dr. but I'm convinced that they couldn't tell me any more than I already know, take an aspirin daily, and they'd charge thousands of dollars running tests to tell me that. Maybe I am an idiot, I guess we'll see.

Lee Murray

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